I've had alot of upheaval in the last few months - Trent being gone, then me to NY, then a weekend in Kananaskis, then a week in BC, Tren'ts back in Calgary for a few days this week...now I've remembered that I've also had a girls getaway (that I didn't commit to, but it's the annual getaway) to 100 mile house at Deka Lake. I just can't do it this year. My life feels like a hurricane. I can't catch up with my housework or my sense of "home". It feels like I'm in a zone lately. My kids have been awful. So, I've declined a great getaway with my friends. The thought of another long drive makes me want to hurl at this point. I'm still getting over the 12 hour each way drive to BC.
The other factor is the ups and downs about relocating, and I've just gotten to a point where I feel totally numb and out of it. Our trip back to BC was an eye opener. I really pictured myself back there...and I couldn't! How's that for getting myself all confused! I found it gorgeous and lush, but at the same time, I hated how dense and busy and traffic was nuts, even during the middle of the day! I felt very closed in...I missed the big open sky and the wide roads and terrain. So, I feel like crawling under a rock and letting time pass for a bit so that I feel at home again, centered, grounded. And no, pms has no factor in this at all. Maybe a bit of reality of family politics and reality of the life back in bc.
So my goal this week is to stick around home for afew days with the kids...bake, make playdough, quilt, library...our usual routine, but no travel, no day trips, no upheaval for a few days. I need to be home.
The trip to bc was a good one, but I'm just glad to be back home and wishing to empty my mind of all the stuff.
The gorgeous storm clouds and tornado watch yesterday was one of the things I love about here...skywatching.
I'm hoping this mellow week will recenter the kids and me and make us feel at home again.
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