THERESA!!!

Theresa, I'm in Port Moody...and of course, I don't have your phone number..I know the prefix, but that's it! And of course, I can't access or find your email, and this is the only place I thought you may read!! Email me at my telus email, and I'll call you back. I'm here though, and hope we're still on for Wednesday!

Everyone else... I'm in BC for the week, visiting friends and family. The smell of the trees here is incredible!! I so miss it! I never got to post about it because it was last minute, and on Friday before we left, we were delayed and interrupted by Ethan smashing his face into the corner of the coffee table... which resulted in the all day excursions to the medicentre and then children's hospital. Ethan received lots and lots of stitches from the plastic surgeon in and up (a long way up) his nostril. He's much better now, but is a bit swollen and turning a few colours that are now surfacing. Plus he's a little numb and looks like he's had botox to his upper lip region. I hope that's just swelling and not nerve damage!

Anyways...post again soon, most likely when I get back on Sunday!

My other gripe

I have another gripe about this unbelievable cold too. The cold air is seeping through the windows and gaps etc. You can feel the drafts, see the ice on the INSIDE of the windows. So, I want to close my blinds and curtains to keep the drafts out. But then I get almost a claustophobic feeling it's so dark inside!!! Thus, I have everthing wide open so it's nice and bright and I can see outside. But then it's cold. :( Wah. The furnace has not stopped.

OMG Winter is here

So fricken cold, the coldest I've experienced in the 2 years I've lived here. Yep, my two year anniversary comes next week!

It's currently -34 with a wind chill of -42. It's damn cold. And the wind has polished all the streets so it's a skating rink out there. Not fun!

School busses aren't running, therefore the schools are practically empty, but they are open of course. Schools are always open in horrible weather it seems. I opted to not take Ethan to school yesterday or today. Yesterday it was blowing snow sideways, with a windchill of -46. What really is he going to miss when most of the students are away anyways? Tomorrow we'll try to trek in, we'll see how it goes. We have insane cabin fever right now. Sunday was blizzard and temps dropped to frigid so we stayed in, as the snow drifts were insane. Yesterday was the same mess, and today, it's sunny and gorgeous outside. I want to go out so badly, the snow looks beautiful to play in. But alas, the warnings are that in less than 5 minutes, skin exposure will receive frostbite. It is so deceiving though, it looks like it's a warm and balmy day!

Poor dog too is a major wimp in this cold weather...she did her quick business even quicker, and her legs actually were buckling last night as she attempted to get back inside. Poor thing, I think she froze her legs!

So, we're stuck inside, we've painted, playdoughed, baked, read, played games, coloured, did "schoolwork", and I think I'm going to surrender the kids to the tv for awhile. Why I feel so guilty about that, I don't know.

Later.

Finally back from the sickies...

Well, Ethan had the stomach flu, and of course, me being the one who somehow wakes up when he throws up in our bedroom (I still don't get why my husband doesn't hear it.... I know he pretends not to hear it) cleaning up from it, and nursing him while he's sick. So who got it then? Yep me. I cannot believe how you can crash and burn to zero energy and strength. It amazes me. I couldn't even climb a flight of stairs without collapsing on the bed for a few minutes to recuperate. And how your body just takes over. It's not even a mind over matter thing. Oh well. So my gripe is this...and I'll make it into appreciation and see if I can turn it around. While I'm sick for the day and a half, it's the weekend, thank god. But it's like my household has stopped functioning. Dishes haven't been done. Cutting board from two days ago has not been wiped and cleaned. ALL toys have been taken out, played with, and never put away. Cat and dog hair tufts accumulating under the kitchen chairs. The evidence is there. MOMMY HAS BEEN ON STRIKE AND NOBODY HAS TAKEN OVER HER ROLE FOR THE DAY.

So, after my gripe, here's my appreciation to turn it around...

1. So thankful that the little bits of housework I do each day actually manifest into the big clean picture. I'm not a clean freak, but the little tasks I do each day maintain a relatively tidy and functional household.

2. Very appreciative of Kirkland disinfecting wipes in each bathroom. They were in good use this weekend.

3. TV is often shunned upon, but when one is sick and cannot tend to the kiddies, is a great babysitter. Thank god for Playhouse Disney.

4. Even though the house turned mad, still thankful to dear husband for letting me sleep for an entire day, while warding off the kiddies from my pounding head and churning stomach.

5. As sick as this sounds, sometimes it's really great to be emptied of everything from your stomach and intestines. Totally empty. Makes you rethink what you put in there after it has been so fragile.

Daily appreciation...

1. Having my husband home today after being away on business since Monday. Thankful to have the husband I do, who is helpful and loving and supportive...when he is gone, I really miss him.

2. Ethan, having the stomach flu today, thankfully didn't have any accidents on the bed, couch or anywhere else. Good aim for the bowl...

3. Mandy sensing something was up with Ethan, and resting her head on his tummy while Ethan was lying on the couch. What a precious sight, I wish I could have caught it on camera.

4. The box of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream WITH CHOCOLATE BROWNIE CHUNKS SWIRLED IN....waiting for me in the freezer.

5. Health - my thoughts to our next door neighbour Rama, who had a massive heart attack on Monday evening and passed away. :(

Quilt top finished!

My disappearing 9 patch top is finished, now I have to sandwich, quilt and bind it.

Here's a peek!





I love piecing them together...not a fan of the sandwiching. The machine quiting is interesting, because I'm such a beginner it's a challenge to get it nice and smooth. But the quilting is what really gives the shape, form and character of the quilt. I love the brown chenille that I bordered it with. Although it was a nightmare of bits all over the carpet, stairs, floors, up my nose...it's awful!!!!

Kids are funny

Ethan loves to train Mandy, and is doing so well. He feeds her and tells her to "leave it" and "okay" for wait and go commands. He also puts Mandy in her crate when we leave the house "Crate" is the command..and gets her out when we come back. Mandy has to sit and wait for Ethan to get upstairs (crate open) until she hears Ethan give the "okay" command.

Now, this week, I've been laughing hysterically at him. And Cameron. They've taken all the back cushions from one of the couches and made a fort between the couch and the hutch. A great hiding space. Except Ethan now tells Cameron the "crate" command, and Cameron obeys! Of course, Ethan closes the crate with the cushion, and Cameron is stuck in his crate.

God they're funny!

How a sewing machine actually makes stitches!

Saw this and it totally makes sense now! SewingMachineGraphic

My newest inspiration....I've wanted to do a bargello quilt for some time now, and eventually want to do a large scale one with one colour and it's values.... but I found this one which is alot smaller, an art quilt, and I love the colours. I will experiment with the colour ... I can't seem to upload the image, but if you go to Kaleidoscope the Kaleidoscope quilt is there.... I can't believe, I actually discovered a quilter who is around the same age as me. Some days, I feel like the youngest quilter around, and I'm not young! :-)

Things to celebrate

1. Trent's new title which he's been "working" on getting aligned for the last few months finally came to fruition.. He's now a Director! That's big news for us, as well as more possibilities to get back to BC! why am I so grateful about this? Not the money, or the status, but experiencing the stepping stones he's made to get here. 11 years ago when I met him, he started at the company as a shipper/receiver driving a forklift on graveyard shifts. He moved to the call center as a tech, back to the warehouse as a manager, then manager for the island and northern bc, then all of bc, then manger of regional operations in edmonton north/fringe, ..now director of regional operations in edmonton north/fringe. So you see, I'm so proud of him because I've been with him every step of the way, through the sleepless nights, the worries and frustrations and the dreaming about what would happen in the years to come. I still have all the letters we wrote to each other while he was on night shift and I on day shift...we'd write letters as we were each eating breakfast (for him late night dinner), dreaming of what was to unfold in our future. :) Sappy I know.

2. Trent formally spoke with his boss in addition to the HR guy about his plans for the year ahead, including BC. ;)

3. We earned a trip to LA, Vegas, or Orlando because we referred 3 or more people to sign up for a cell phone! Hurray! Actually, we signed up 8, so we may receive more incentive!

4. Ethan went to his first movie today with daddy and was so excited I thought he was going to pee himself! He announced to everyone in the theatre that it was his first movie, and that he was going to be able to order popcorn AND POP! :lol: Only thing is he lasted about 1/2 hour...the darkness and very loud sound system scared him. :( Poor little guy...but I'm very excited about his excitement and "milestone".

5. I finished sewing valances for both the boys' rooms today. They were super easy and quick, and look much better than the victorian pastel stuff that was up. I know, I've been here almost 2 years and I just did this.. slap me.

6. the glorious sun and 4c weather we had today.

Turkey Dancer...

OMG we FINALLY caught him doing the turkey dance to Shrek the Halls.

choices

Ever play around with the settings on your blog for a good two hours only to realize that it's no better than it was before?

fuck.

ugh

so the common cold has kicked my butt tonight. Today was not so bad, but right now my head feels like a pressure cooker.

Oh well.

Things to share:

1. so happy to have learned about a new (to me) playgroup in the community that I hadn't heard about. it's just awesome, and the people there are sooo nice! I've been there twice and so far just love it. Looking forward to meeting someone who referred me to it, as well as I've gotten to know her through her blog and LP. (she couldn't make it today)

2. Made a great dinner tonight where my kids actually tried everything on the plate. Cameron actually ate dinner! hurray!

3. No work on my quilt today, but very motivated and excited to try a new one... a bargello. I'm thankful for my artistic motivation that has sparked back up inside. It really makes life feel good.

4. Very proud of dh for speaking with his HR contact regarding the plan to get back to BC. I'm proud of him for working so hard for us.

5. Mandy and Shatzi sitting at the bath tub waiting for the kids to feed them bath water from a cup. My cat and dog are best friends and it's got to be the most coolest thing ever. They are two peas in a pod.

Things about today...

1. The amazing chili recipe I made was fantastic today!

2. My trip to the Parent Link playgroup was super, and I felt right away that it will be a place I frequent at least once a week with Cameron. (Thanks for the info Jane!)

3. Ethan trying to help me by loading up all the scraps of fabric from my quilt onto his freight trains, and dumping them in different corners of the basement. Then, trying to help me refit all of the "puzzle pieces" of fabric into a new quilt. He has decorator tendencies... LOL

4. Listening to Ethan and Cameron belly laugh as Trent was playing with them on the bed.

5. My 6am wake-up call from Ethan whispering loudly into my ear "I get to go to school todaaayyyyy I get to go to school todayaayyy." And then seeing him waiting in the car 15 minutes before we actually had to leave.



I love doing these...they make me really reflect on my day and some of the little moments that sometimes just pass by. I don't want them to pass by, I want to remember them and revisit them.

Quilt in Progress Pics

Here is a closeup of the 4 little blocks put together as one block...





Here is the Disappearing 9 patch in progress. I pieced together all the difficult ones, and now I'm going to build some larger patch borders, followed by strip borders to frame it. i thought of doing a piano key border, but now that I have it pieced, I can see that I don't want too much more pattern in there...

Today...

Pretty bland day this morning... we had our neighbours over for dinner last night and then we watched the hockey game after. Ethan and his little friend were up way to late last night, and he was wired when Reid went home. So finally at 11:00pm he fell asleep. And of course, up at 6:30. I was not impressed.

Trent had to go into work today, so we had a lazy day. I continued to work on my quilt, and got a lot done of my piecing. I will post photos tomorrow in the natural light. I'm doing this without a pattern, and so some of it is alot more difficult that would be with a pattern to follow. But, hey..why make life simple? I'm really happy the way it's taking shape, and I know my best friend Lorena will adore it.

Grattitude today...

1. I'm grateful to myself today for not feeling angry at Trent for going into work (again) outside of normal long work days. I'm trying my very best to understand his committments, and be gentler to him. I'm grateful I was gentle today ! :)

2. My quilt pieces and seams lined up almost all perfectly today, making it that much nicer!

3. Cameron and Ethan playing in the dog's crate WITH the dog today. They were pretending to be her puppies. I'm grateful to have such a gentle soul of a dog.

4. Trent coming home from work and saying, let's go out for a donut, double double (tea) and a drive. So out we drove to the country side and through all the beautiful acreage areas, just for fun.

5. Cameron, from being tucked into our bed and reading stories with Daddy, climbing down two flights of stairs to the basement, grabbing my hand and saying "cmon mommy les go!" and dragging me up the 2 flights of stairs bringing me into bed. Then proceeding to snuggle in between Trent and myself and holding each of our hands...and then falling asleep within a minute. I'm grateful for the way he made me feel so important and so monumental in his sleeping routine. Some say we need to break this habit, but I relish how I make him feel comforted and secure at bedtime.

Things I really appreciate today...

1. My husband makes coffee almost every morning. This morning, especially after a not so good sleep…coffee was very appreciated this morning. And just now...a new pot, a new mug placed infront of the keyboard for me.

2. Ethan and Cameron setting up the blankets on the floor of the living room this morning to have their pancake breakfast picnic. And then hugging each other once it was done.
3. My husband letting me ride through a low moment of frustration and letting me cry without prodding and trying to solve things.
4. Watching Ethan put on his ice skates for the first time, and wobbling all over like a weeble, yet try try trying again.
5. Trent sending me out on my own to get a few things at Costco. Without the kids.

Grattitude

I’m going to try and record daily the things that I normally don’t take the time to be grateful for.
1. Watching David Letterman with Trent last night and feeling like we were really having fun.
2. Laughing hysterically at Robin Williams (on Letterman) for his constant comedy on overdrive. Thank you for being so funny, Robin!
3. Ethan and Cameron hugging and kissing each other for no apparant reason, other than a game of “look how cute we are”.
4. That Ethan has matured enough not to have meltdowns when we leave the playpark, and sets this example for Cameron.
5. My husband never questions anything I purchase (I know I’m not a big spender…but still!) and today I bought a sewing machine from ebay and he was very happy.

Ebay Purchase!

I don't buy alot of things off Ebay... I'm up to 21 now on my profile! But a few days ago I won my auction, yay! I bought a sewing machine. It's a Janome 8080 which is a computerized machine. The one I have now is a Pfaff 1020, which has straight and zigzag and a buttonhole feature. that's it. It's a workhorse however, and excellent quality. I don't know if I'll keep it or sell it. We'll see how I like the Janome. I'm very excited though...I get to go from 2 stitches to a whopping 80 stitches. I'm sure I"ll never use them all, but the option will be great when I'm doing some decorating stitches on my quilts or whatever..

Now I have no excuse not to go and sew. Well, I can always use the kid excuse...you know the one? Gosh, they were at me all day, and I couldn't start or finish anything because of them. LOL

Bring me back to earth!

I can't get it out of my head. I'm so stoked! I just want to move home now!!!! I know this could be a years worth of waiting. I hope it's not longer!

had a fabulous conversation with dad on the phone yesterday. He arrived back from his 15 day cruise of the Hawaiin islands. He sounded over the moon about his travels. This is a side of dad that I've never known...to enjoy cruising, festivals, nice meals, entertainment.

I remember dad to be sitting on his chair, reading his book and smoking his pipe (waaaayyyyy long ago, he hasn't smoked for at least 20 years) Camping tent style..hiking, canoeing, and frowning upon cultural excursions. I wonder if any of this was because of money, the kids, my mom? Or maybe this is just a new facet of his life. He has been doing so many things that I've never known him to do.

My greatest pride is knowing that he has moved on and is doing things that he is enjoying. He speaks of mom every time I talk to him, and I know he thinks of her all the time with great memories, great sadness....but I'm just so glad that he hasn't let it get to him and has decided to live the life he has to the fullest

My shadows.

I don't have my own shadows anymore. Not since having children and pets. My cat, who is lying against the keyboard and monitor at this moment... my dog, who is lying at my feet at the moment, and Cameron and Ethan who are not shadowing me at the moment while Max and Ruby entertain them. Some days I love it, and others I hate it, especially when I'm tripping over them all and pulling muscles or twisting my knees trying to avoid a huge accident.

I can never say I'm alone, as I always have them with me. It feels nice in a lonely world.

As you can see, Cameron has another few shadows too, especially Mandy. Mandy is with those kids everywhere. Okay, so she's a food whore and is just waiting for the droppings from their hands, but look at how Mandy is leaning against Cameron in that picture???

Feast or Famine

I've started a new quilt. I bought two types of fabric collections from ebay, one in browns, turquoise,lime green,yelow and white. The other collections are pink, fuschia, turquoise black and white. i started on the brown collection for this quilt.

It's called a disappearing 9 patch. Here is a tutorial I got the idea from:

http://quiltsatcs.blogspot.com/2007/04/disappearing-9-patch-tutorial.html

You take 9 squares of fabric and sew them together in a grid of 9 squares. Then with your rotary cutter you slash the 9 patch in 1/2 lengthwise, and then widthwise. You then have 4 new patches. You rotate and turn the squares (which gives you infinate patterns to do...hell for me because I hate making final decisions), and match them together in a 4 square..then sew together to make a new patch.

Here is the fabric and the squares in progress...



Good grief, it's feast or famine for me in this blog world.

I will take the lime and the turquoise and make some skinny borders, and then accent it with a wide chocolate border...we'll see how it goes!

Happy New Year!!!

2008 is going to be a great year. I know it. 2007 was good to us too, but there were so many ups and downs. We already have our brains working overtime and planning our biggest goal of the year - our move back to BC.
Trent has his meeting with his boss this week for his professional development meeting, and the forefront of discussion will be how to get us back to BC. He is also consulting with his HR manager to discuss how to get back there. If the company doesn't have any opportunities or ways to get us there, we will seek elsewhere. The compnay is not IT for working worlds. It has been an excellent company for us though, and we'd definately like to continue with them. We don't even mind paying for our own move/transfer back. We just want to resume our lives back near friends and family. Year one was relatively easy...all the excitement and adventure of exploring a new city.

Here is a photo of my dad's house on Christmas Day.... this is the home I grew up in, and although I'm biased, I really think this is a beautiful house.

Holidays

Christmas has come and gone...and admittedly, I'm glad. I hate the clutter and the craziness that seems to transform our lives. We had a great one, with dh's parents coming in for a visit. The kids were so thrilled to have their grandparents with them. They got spoiled to death, and dh and I are going to try and scale things down next year. With Ethan's birthday on the 24th, it seems to be a huge whopper of gift overload. I don't know what we'll do, but it's insane.

The year past has been one of ups and downs....it's been an awful one with friends and family losing their loved ones. I think it has been an exceptionally tragic one, as it seems many people have lost loved ones this year. :( I'm hoping 2008 brings a fresh start, and one with lots of good health and happiness.

Just recently, a student of mine that I taught last year lost his little brother to a tragic farming accident. His father had been working the tractor and accidently ran over the 4 year old (backing up, didn't realize he was there). I'm just stunned at this, and cannot imagine the guilt and grief that the father must be going through. I feel for my student R, who was a success story at school...began the year being at risk and troublesome, and by end of year won awards, was a star in my class and a huge help for me in a few of the music projects we had going on. He was the country music audition I will always remember... I think I blogged about him earlier on. Anyways.... my post is more about wishing the year to close peacefully, and open with a fresh start, not forgetting those we've lost, but moving on and living fully like they'd wish us to.

A toast to the many who we've lost, and my friends who always deserve hug.

Hoar Frost

This last week has felt incredibly cold, colder than it should be. I've learned why. I've experience ICE FOG, and Hoar Frost, which are due to higher humidity levels. Ice fog is incredible....especially when the sun is peeking through. It's like regular fog, except it shimmers like crystals in the air. Well, it IS crystals in the air. :)

Hoar frost is frost that makes the trees, etc look like we got a good snowfall. Usually, the snow here is so dry, that the snow doesn't stick to the trees like it does in BC. Here is a close up of my LP friend who takes amazing photos...I'm stealing her photo to show what Hoar Frost looks like.



This is a photo she took of actual flakes that landed on her pant leg!

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper

2. Real tree or Artificial? Used to be real, until I worked with someone who used to work for firedept dispatch...we now have artificial.

3. When do you put up the tree? I would rather wait until about the 15th of Dec. Hubby wins this, and it's up the first weekend of Dec.

4. When do you take the tree down? Boxing day or the day after. The sooner the better!!!

5. Do you like egg nog? Does it come in wine barrels? Yes!!!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Fashion Plates designer drawing set.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? no

8. Hardest person to buy for? mother in law

9. Easiest person to buy for? ME

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? can't think of one...

12. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas ? Usually December 24th, this year, I started beginning of November!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? nope.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas ? cookies and sweets

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? clear

17. Favorite Christmas song? Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth with David Bowie and Bing Crosby

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Both - this year we're staying put!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and RUDOLPH

20. Angel on the tree top or star? Nothing!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas Eve is Ethan's birthday... we open Christmas Presents on Christmas Day

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Commercialism and people asking what my list is. Hello? Do you not know me and my interests???

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? wooden ornaments from Germany

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Christmas Eve dinner with european deli weiners and meats, pickled herring, and breads...

25. what do you want for Christmas this year? A really expensive quilting/sewing machine..not gonna happen!

Christmas Baking

I have made plenty of it. Do I have anything to show for it? nope, except for yesterdays creation which is on the chopping block, literally.

Menu today:
stollen and coffee for breakfast
grapefruit for guilt snack
stollen and milk for lunch plus a side of tuna for extra protein **
stollen for afternoon snack with a cup of tea
dinner - i think I'll stop the stollen now. i hope. god help me. there's leftover lasagne in the fridge.

** I realized after eating the tuna that my stollen actually HAS protein in it! I have a good 250g of almonds in the loaf!

My visitors are getting costco and sobey's baking assortments for their treats. They will be purchased within an hour of their arrival. I've done enough damage to my body to last through the holidays.

Where Am I?

I'm delayed in posting I know. I've been busy with visitors...my friend, my sister...details to follow. Life.

But in the meantime, check out www.dooce.com it's one of the most hilarious blogs I've read. This woman is so clever with her words. I've only read 3 pages, and they are awesome.

Okay, so adding pictures to your post after it has been published doesn't seem to work. This is a closer view of my quilt. It's called a rail fence, and is probably one of the easiest quilts to make. I took the class though, to learn about the cutting tricks and techniques, as well as the piecing and sandwiching/quilting aspects. I learned alot!

The picture of me I posted from the farm... i felt so incredible in that fresh air and open space, and I think it kind of captures that.

Granny Andrea

I like sewing. I took a quilting class this fall. Here is my almost finished produce. It's machine pieced, and machine quilted, and all I have to do is put the binding on. Er...that could be awhile. I hate hand sewing and it's the one thing I need to do.

The colours are off in these pics and i can't figure out how to take better ones, aside from bringing my quilt outside in -10c weather. So here it is. I loved the colours at first, and now that I've spent way too much time with this quilt, I am not a fan. It will reside in my basement family room.

Farms.

Recently I have been introduced to farm/acreage and horses. I love them. Each experience I left feeling like I found my home, my place to be.

The first was our neighbour's farm. They farm barley, wheat, oats and peas. It was gorgeous....you could see for miles, and the sense of freedom and peace out there was amazing....




The other experience was at our friend's horse boarding farm. She boards her horse near Calgary. We were on a trip back home from the Rockies, and stopped by for a visit. I'd never been WITH horses before, and we went out to the field to get Floyd. Well all of the horses started following and surrounding us. It was incredible. They were right near us and it was beautiful. A little frightening at first!

The open air, the wide open space, the chill in the air, the dirt. So great.

Can't seem to post the damn pic right now, but will soon/

Outfit Complete

What an absolute hellish day of shopping. I struggle with the concept to spend money on something that I will wear for one night of the year. I don't know. I've never been one to spend alot of money on clothes, nor have I ever had the desire to have alot of clothes.

So, I found an outfit. I bought a fancy jacket for 89.00 which I could technically wear at another time if need be. I bought a fancy sparkly black turtleneck sleeveless top for 20.00 which doubles as a suck me in undergarment. Yeah! I picked up a pair of pants, and then remembered I probably had dressy pants at home, so I returned them. I have heels to go with the outfit, and I'll pick up a pair of sparkly earrings, a bottle of hair colour, and then I'm done.

I feel cynical about the whole thing lately. People dressing up for this "gala" night for dh's work. How totally not me. Let's dress up and show off and see who's the best dressed and best looking of the night? Who's the trampiest? It all brings back alot of old memories of me trying to feel like I need to fit in. And then there's the concept of being the "director's wife". or the "boss's wife". Trying to look good for my husband to look good for his employees. Puke. Anyways, I'll look good, not flashy, not trampy. It's only one night right? Don't get me wrong, I like to look good, but sometimes I wonder about the whole thing and my personal demons make a big deal out of nothing at all.

Feeling rather down in the dumps the last few days. I'm feeling lonely and uninspired. I have many projects to do, quilts, sewing, drapes, school project for Ethan's class, painting the boys' rooms. but I slump onto the couch and stare off out the window. I need friends.

Holy Moly!!!

Please excuse my hiatus from blogging. Life has gotten the best of me. And I don't feel guilty about such a long break either! I feel however, like I need to document my swirling thoughts more often.

So, dusting this thing off.

I really don't know who or how many people even read this. but it'll be fun to revive.


I have an intense urge to buy a new coat and new boots. It's the cold weather. I will be doing so this week.
I also need new bras, socks, pajamas and a robe. I also need a pair of jeans, and a christmas outfit for a work party of dh's.

To go along with that, I'm sure I'll need new jewelry, pantyhose, slimming undergarments, etc. And my hair done as well.

Crap. This is going to be expensive.

Wildlife on my commute

Well they're out in the fields again. And guess who just seems to pee and poo while I drive by again? Not daily, but enough for me to slap my forehead. Yep. the horse.

Also saw a few porcupines...although they were roadkill. Never seen a porcupine before in mylife! The quills look very cool. I want to stop on the side of the road and pluck one, but I think that may not go over very well with people I know.

Saw mama fox and her 2 babies too. Baby lambs and calfs are also dotting the scenic horizon. And in the concrete cookie cutter development I live, waddled a mama duck and her babies following behind her. I hope to god she wasn't lost. The lake is on the other side of the development. Unless she was coming to swim in my pond...

Oh yes, and the best wild life of all? The bugs. They are out. in full FAT force. The mosquitos are big, fat and ugly.

Dairy Farmers - increase your productivity please

because the gods out there have shown me heaven, and it comes from cows. Partially that is.

I just discovered ORANGE milk. Not chocolate milk, or strawberry milk. My new passion is ORANGE MANIA milk.

I secretly stop in at Sobey's every other day to indulge in my milk intake. I guess it's not a secret anymore.

OMG it's so fucking good.

Off to sobey's.

AARRUGHGHGH

So after that post, my husband comes home with news of two referrals for him to post on jobs back in BC.

We really hashed things out before and during dinner, trying to get to the bottom of my confusion. As usual, it's me trying to appease people and not to disappoint anyone. Taking Ethan to MY school for kindergarten would go against me wanting him to go to the neighbourhood school where he can meet the neighbourhood kids. Working 2-3 days a week would still entail me putting on the various concerts, as well as the Christmas concert, talent shows, airbands, music festivals, choirs etc. Except instead of fitting those practices into my 5 day work week like I have now, I'd be cramming them into the 2-3 days I'd be at work.

I know what my head is telling me. My heart just doesn't want to disappoint anyone. And my heart is filled with such gratitude for someone bending over backwards for me....like I said, I feel very humbled about her doing all the flexible scheduling.

And what about me? How do I really feel about this situation. All I care about is not disappointing anyone or putting anyone out. How fucked up is that?

Humbled

So my saga as to whether or not I return to work in the fall continues. I haven't posted much about because frankly it's a long winded whirlwind.

In a nutshell, I'm finding life way to overwhelming working fulltime, daycare, home, and a husband that travels at least one week out of the month.

So, I considered moving to part time (2.5.- 3 days a week), but then issue became of daycare costs...I'd still have to pay full time daycare for both kids, yet cut my salary in 1/2. That would work to be about 200 dollars a month that I'd take home in pay.

So now my principal again is working on me. She is so supportive and WANTS me. It's incredible. She's asked 2 other teachers who have music background at the school, if they will share the music teaching while I take a leave of absensse for a year at school, guaranteeing me a spot to come back to next year. She said if I took a year off, she really wanted me to apply directly back at the school.

Option 2 which we hashed out. Ethan goes to my school to kindergarten 2-3 days a week. (because it's a country school, kindergarten is full days there) Schedule the music schedule around the days that Ethan is at kindergarten. Then, only Cameron is going to daycare, and I don't have the worry of a nightmare bus thing for Ethan, as well as separation anxiety with Ethan (not MY anxiety, Ethan's)

I'm just so humbled at her flexibility and her willingness to keep me and work with me to get what I want.

I love the idea of working somewhat. I even told her about my thoughts of possibly moving back to Vancouver in the next year. She wants me still.

I feel very valued and very competent. I like that.

Body Functions

I must apologize about the amount of bodily functions in my blogs....it's just that working with kids, it's the forefront of my mind.

Speaking of body functions, my eldest monster, er, son, has discovered how to burp. Now I don't know how much of it is discouraged at daycare, but I really don't think much at the moment, which ticks me off. He's also into pee poo and bum talk and loves the shock value of it all.

Is this the beginning of the boy nightmares I have imagined? Will it dwindle, or am I at the tip of the iceberg?

Refinnej?????? HELP!!!!!!!!!

Snot - Do I have to go there again?

Being a music teacher, I teach lots of fun singing games and dances as well as the typical instrumentation.

Today, while teaching the lesson in a circle formation, sitting on the form. I had a nose picker beside me. Dig dig dig, and cover your nose with the OTHER hand to hide the fact that you are picking your nose. Good move, little one. Nope, I don't see it, what a great way to hide your habit.

So in circle formation, we get ready to get up and start our game. Excavator is beside me, and is finishing off her business. She proceeds to wipe her hands on her dress and catches me watching her. I can tell she's got the deer in headlights look. Oh my gosh, she's thinking....she saw me picking my nose. DUH!!! So silently, as if she was trying to appease my disgust, and apologize telepathically to me, she brushes her hands together, gives them a wipe on her dress as if she's trying to smooth out the folds of her dress. *nicetrick* Then, she reaches over to me and holds my hand like the rest of the circle.

And I wonder why I've been sick for the last 7 months of the year.

two very laughable moments today

"lightbulb"
"walk the line"
Today at school, there were two moments that I tried so hard not to laugh out loud AT the kids. Okay, maybe one I laughed WITH the kids.

We're doing a school wide song for Music Monday on May 7. I've taughht the song, now we're put a few action to it. E.G. The world is waiting for our song...we draw a world in the air with our hands and push our hands outwards like we're showcasing.

So, I have my grade 2 kids come in and we start to generate ideas and put some good actions to the song. For the following line in the song:
I know you hear it when you're alone..

I get a few ideas, we decide on one (hug our arms and sway back and forth). It's done. But this one grade 2 student cannot stop, and needs to be heard. He is frantically trying to get my attention, like the most revolutionary idea is about to come out of his mouth. Yes, M. I say. He shows me his action (a twisty wrist thing in the air). What's he doing, I'm not sure. So I ask in my quizzical way:

I'm not sure what that action has to do with lonely, M. Can you explain it to me?

Yes, Mrs.Harris. You know when you're screwing in a lightbulb? You do that alone, and so I thought a screwing in a lightbulb with your hand would fit real good there.

Oh, I say. I'm trying really hard not to smirk.

So THEN...his buddy beside him supports his idea. Yes, Mrs.Harris, especially, you know, when the lightbulb breaks and it's all sharp and you have to unscrew it by yourself?

IS this for real???? I'm afraid it was.

So my solution was to have the two boys do their own thing for this part of the song. and so seriously they did. Like it was their shining lightbulb moment.

Pun not intended.

My other funny moment today...again pointing out that I work in a RURAL school. I'm doing an airband project with the grade 6's. I've chosen 50's theme for it. The kids were all excited to hear the selections I had chosen (about 50 different songs to choose from) I heard a few rumbling requests for Johnny Cash...not knowing much about him, I thought I'd toss one of his songs in my mix just to appease them. Heck, the rest of the songs were so catchy, a Johnny Cash song would go unnoticed.

So we're flicking through the songs talking about a few of them, and then Johnny Cash comes on. I flick through it quickly, and you'd think I had committed a crime. They all screached at me...ooooh! that's johhnny cash! Turn it back. so there they go, ALL singing Walk the Line in Unison. I had only heard the song a few times in my life, with no real interest at all. They, obviously, have heard it many more.

I'm guessing johnny cash falls under the country category during the 50's and 60's era.

A best friend

I've always wondered about the saying "Man's Best Friend". Today, I finally understood it.

We adopted Mandy 2 years ago, shortly after the death of my mom. Some say it was a knee jerk response to her death, and maybe it was somewhat. Maybe I should have waited awhile longer. But if I did, I wouldn't have Mandy. When I saw her online, I just had to have her. She had such a goofy grin, and her story of having her 3rd litter in 2 years just made me want her even more. I wanted to give her a home where she was safe and spoiled. That she is. She is truly my dog, following me everywhere, including to the bathroom (which gets so annoying sometimes!) She adores our family. I'm the pack leader. Trent's the playmate, and the kids, well, I often think she thinks they are her babies. She even adores our cat Shatzi.

Today, she really proved herself as part of the family in a special way. And for some reason, I just cannot get this out of my head. For some reason, I feel very bonded today, like she really communicated with me. Call me crazy, but I know Mandy, and this was definately her way of telling me something.

We came home from work/daycare and began our usual "home finally" routine of snack/tv, dog goes outside, and I check messages, just before getting prepped for the dinner makings. Cameron got his juice and cheerios, Ethan his juice and apple slices. I got my diet coke and headed to the computer room to check my emails. About 5 minutes later I hear the dog prancing in the house down the hallway into the computer room to see me. Click click her nails tapping along the hardwood floors. Back she goes, and comes back again, this time with a friendly play "growl" and prances side to side in front of me, in her play soliciting way. She NEVER does this in the house. She runs to the back door.

I finally clue in. How did she get in the house in the first place? I follow her, and off she goes onto the deck and LEADS me to my little squirt down the back "hall" of the side of the house.

Was this ooincidence that she wanted to play outside? Maybe. I really think she was trying to let me know that Cameron was out there on his own, and Mandy knew that wasn't right. I feel very grateful for that moment, as sometimes I forget how incredible she really is, and what a great friend and companion she is.

As I type this Mandy lays beside me waiting for the creak of the chair to announce that I will be getting up and moving somewhere else. She will, of course, follow me by my side.


She's definately a best friend.

Mud Puddling

Well, we've entered the big melt where I live and work. 6 1/2 months worth of snow and ice are deciding to morph into something different - mud.

At school, the vast farm fields are speckled with puddles, and even, ponds. The park benches are now uncovered, and there are no more ice and snow forts built ontop and through them. The playgrounds? Well, now the firepoles are an actual challenge, and one can slide down them, instep of step out of them onto a snowbank.

With the melt, comes huge huge puddles, close to pond quality in the playground sand. One would think that hte kids would avoid the playground. No.

Again, the resourcefulness and creativity of children amazes me. Adults are squashing their engagement by screaming "get out of the puddles, where are your boots?" By noon, the new (assinine)safety rule has been implemented onto the playgroun STAY OFF OF THE PLAYGROUND. Yeah, like staying out of puddles has ever been a successful rule with stir crazy kids.

I, the rebellious one on staff... get very excited by what's happening out there. I don't care about soaking wet feet, pants, stinky muddy clothes. I'm totally fixated on these future project managers of our world. I tell them to go forth and conquer. I will absorb the bitching by the other staff.

Take the tire swing lake for instance. One group of kids decided they wanted to get on that swing, but couldn't get to it because the lake was way to big to reach the swing. So, here comes the resourcefulness. Digging streams and "paths" to drain the tireswing puddle just enough. These streams drained into the Slide Puddles.

Again, more teams are catching on. In a day's time, the playground has transformed into a sea of scribbled paths, working their way to the farm field beside the playground. The team has successfully drained most of the water from the important equipment.

A little wet? yep. A little dirty? Yep. Learning about dams, gravity, water flow, engineering, teamwork? Yep.

Farting

Am I a fart magnet or something? Does my kind and gentle face read "please walk near me and fart" ?

Do I just relax you enough that you feel like it's safe to do such a thing around me?

Today, no joke, I had about 6 farters at school. One farter decided the music room was fine and dandy to go really loud. Obviously, she had not intended to be so disruptive, but alas when one farts...kids laugh.

The other 5 times were random. While I'm reading at the same table as the farter and the air changes is an easy one. For some reason, many think that being up ou of their desks is a great excuse. Yes, and I get the brunt of it, in my carpeted, tiered and non-windowed music room. Lovely.

The most insulting one was a sweet grade 2 girl who APPROACHED ME to get her paper marked in math. SHE APPROACHED ME KNOWING THAT I WAS GOING TO BE WITH HER ONE ON ONE. Does it not make sense to wait the minute or so before moving the air with you? No. She brought it with her.


Nice.

Aging Folks

Okay, gripes, vents and sighs coming up.

Invite dad out to dinner last week. I say, Milestones, Whitespot, TonyRoma's, or Zellers (his fav, not mine) You go out for dinner with your daughter, and guess what you pick? yes, ZELLERS cafeteria. sigh. Ok. I play along. I look for the good in it. Casual dining, kid friendly, quick service, bright surrounding so dad doesn't complain (about the room being dark so that we can't see what they're serving on the plate. Must be some kind of reason they're making it dark because the food must look bad)

We make the time to meet for 5:15. We (husband and kids in tow) get there at 5:25. Yes, slightly late, but my dad has his meal already and is halfway through eating it!!!!!!!! Fucking hell!

And to top it off? He's got a hearing aid FINALLY in the last week. Does he wear it at all? NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking hell!!!!!

And all through dinner, he keeps calling me DIJON, for my hair is blonde. I'm too old for this.

Kids are relatively good, thank goodness, except for Cameron's whiny independent phase where I can't even touch a thing on his plate otherwise he explodes into an ugly scene. Ethan keeps nagging about Opa's SURPRISE that he has in the car. Fucking hell.

Somehow, after all that I'm glad it was Zellers. Quick exit.

Muffins are GONE just like that.

Hey ho, I'm off work again. If it's not me sick, it's someone else in my family. So I have to take time off work. Whee.

So I made muffins today. And to my realization, I just had the understanding of how people say you go through a lot of food with a family.

Never really realized that until just now. I just finished pulling out a batch of 12 oatmeal choc chip muffins from the oven about 20 minutes ago. How many are left? 6. Yes SIX. And if my experience serves me right, one of them will be hobbling into the computer room with his green plate showing me it's empty and he'll say ah dun. Meaning...I want more.

So then, it's onto 5 muffins. And of course, they're humming my way too..a little pat of butter on a fresh hot muffin...can't beat it.

So yes. In under an hour my family will polish off the muffins. Trent should be home in about 15 minutes, which we then know the fate of the rest of the muffins.

Sick yet Again!

We had a 2 week hiatus from being sick. Yippee! And onto another bug. Kids have a cold, I'm getting it, and Trent has it too. Only bad thing is that Trent has a stomach flu on top of it. I'm sure that's going to run it's way through the household.

We have never been so sick in our entire lives since moving here. Trent especially. He never gets sick. This year? 3-4 stomach bugs and colds frequently. I now just monitor the healthy times I have. Such as the last 2 weeks of feeling good. Well, scratch that. I had a minor nausea bout last week for 1.5 days. Couldn't scarf anything down, nor could I move as swiftly as usual.

Oh well, we're keeping the kleenex and toilet paper industry in business.

Sounds like a bunch of bitchy postings about my health. But fuck, when you're constantly sick as we have been, you tend to get bitchy.

Spring Break

Our Spring Break is a week later than others, I don't know why, but it is. Nonetheless ,we are heading west bound to our wet coast again. I'm excited to stay there for the week and really soak in what we are missing. Perhaps the traffic, congestion, and dampness will turn us off and we'll be happy to stay in th frigid prairies.

Perhaps not.

The sunrises this week have been outstanding. I drive directly east into the sunrise which is a bitch when you're trying to navigate the road. But, becase the road is straight, I usually stare off into the rolling hills and the snow covered fields and watch the sun rise.

The snow is melting quite a bit, as we have a warming trend happening. Thank god. I cannot wait to see grass again. although it will be all brown and dead. I think what people here really appreciate is the distinct seasons. When the grass finally sprouts green, and the trees finally burst their leaves, we are transformed into a colour world again. It really makes you appreciate the spring when arrives.

However,...I sure miss my hydrangea at this time of year on the west coast, beginning their blooms of periwinkle and fushia. I miss bold red of the azaleas in my parent's yard... I miss the cherry blossoms creating a pink blanket on the green grass.

I'm coming home!

Country Schools

So I'm setting up this talent show for the school, and I had all the kids who wanted to be in it, audition for it.

The difference between a country school and a city school is great. For one, I've only got 1/2 the population as normally occurs in a city school. The TYPE of performances are so cute.

Grade 1 student wrote a poem called I Love School, which she will be reciting.

Singing? All the singing gigs are COUNTRY songs.

Dancing? Not a heck of alot of these. But the ones I have, are not the lates rap song, top 40 or r&b ditty. The dances are to KIDS cd's. Crazy Frog, Kidpop and Raffi. What the???? I was expecting some really good funky dances like I've seen before. Girl groups with their heavy makeup and skimpy outfits on...just like in the city.

Nope.

and for instrumentals? I have the token piano pieces that one would expect, and GET THIS... I have a BANJO performance!

Gotta love it.

I stole this post because I can't stop laughing at it!!!

OMG my friend has the best posts on her blog, and I have to steal it over here to post it for a few of my readers to read. I didn't ask her permission, so if I get in shit, I get in shit. I LOVE this post.

You know, when it's dead at work, the question "what's with your voice?" gets really old, and you just can't wait until Friday? Then, when Friday arrives, you come home and see what terrifyingly godawful condition your house has somehow arrived at, and you're bitten by the MustCleanItNow bug while simultaneously making dinner and fending off the "what's for dinner" questions from a 4 yr old who would eat sandwiches morning, noon and night if you let him make the family meal plan (ha! meal plan. Like I have one of those!). And, when you dare to drag out the vacuum to suck up the evil dust bunnies that are taking over every nook & cranny available, your husband makes a comment about how his nerves are almost shot and he runs for his personal hidey-hole. This, after he managed to go on a 4-day ski trip (free) last weekend, then worked a whopping 1.5 days before taking his leftover 2006 vacation days (that he didn't know he had. Dumbass.) to recover from the stomach flu and what can only be called the weeniest "cold" imaginable. Then, after you've managed the least amount of sympathy that classifies as being polite, informed both children they will not receive any more food this evening because they didn't eat their dinner, washed the dishes, and started the dishwasher, you're expected to listen to your husband bitch about poker.

The Wet Coast

Here are some pics from my Tofino trip....sigh


What a rejuvenating trip. If I could live in this place...I would love it. Only thing is, it's a 3 hour drive to a local mall. I don't think I'd survive that. :lol:

My boys

Mommy - I love you so much. Mommy, I just love you so much I can't stop loving you.


I just love having two children. I never thought in a million years what the benefit to having two would be. I love watching my two boys making each other laugh, and most of all, soliciting play with each other. Hearing the giggling come from Cameron's room in the morning, when Ethan has snuck in adn crawled into Cameron's crib, seeing them in their skivvies because Ethan has stripped them both down to their underwear and playing with the toys, is ridiculously rewarding.

It's definately alot of work, and often I'm pulling my hair out because one is always at me..... but the last few days have been very awesome. Love my boys.

New posts

I'm dredging up a new funny post. It's milling around in my mind. Stay tuned. :)

Went to the wet coast this weekend, and wet it was! It was so gorgeous..the smell of the trees and the dampness. Funny, but I never thought I'd appreciate it again. We (a group of a few of my girlfriends) chilled out in a cabin in Tofino, right on the water. I love them to bits, it was so nice to regroup and rekindle what I have missed.

Urge for my hometown still exists. More confusion in my head...need to sort it out.

The cold has finally melted me.

We have been talking lately about moving back home to the wet coast. We love it here in the cold prairies, but we're really missing our friends and family back home. It wouldn't be a quick move, but rather a plan to get back home in the next year to 2 years. DH will be fishing for placements with his company on the coast, which will be good options, and I, well... I really am flexible with what I want to do. I love my teaching job, but I still love the option of other careers, other things. Ethan is going to Kindergarten in the fall (!) and it would be nice to be able to be there along the way with him. I'm going to work on NOT working..maybe tutoring or teaching music classes on the side for wee ones. If we move, we'd make a killing on the house we have right now, and yes, while it's expensive on the coast, we don't mind living out in the burbs, even a little further than we did before. Financially, we've made huge strides by this move, and while some people might think of us as crazy, we've sacrificed a year, possibly 2 or 3, and financially saved ourselves 15-20 years on our mortgage.

When we reflect back on all the things we've been doing and people we "socialize" with, we've been pretty much living our lives here, but socializing with our west coast friends and family. All the phone calls, emails, blogs, and chatboards, are all with our friends back home. Weird huh? So we'll see what comes of it.

This is strictly in the works right now, and maybe we'll change our minds in the near future, but I'm not so sure.

I'm positively THRILLED and ELATED about the idea...when the idea came "out" my homesickness surfaced and intensified. I dunno what's happening to me. I think I'm going nutso.

I'm here!

I'm doing well, and out of my woa is me phase again. Sheesh, had to dig out of that one! Feeling good again.

I have a ton to blog about, but not a lot of time right now.


I went to my first roadside cafe, as in, hicksville gasoline station restaurant. The artwork on the walls was dusty and faded, the dusty pink walls were dingy and grey. The early 80's vinyl back chairs were in fine form, and the menus were showing age. We went for lunch, my work group that is. A fine bunch of 10 women we are, and I had the honours of being the guest of honour, for it was my first time to Brookville. I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with fries, and literally, it came exactly out as I would have made myself. Wonderbread, kraft cheese, cut in 1/2 with a pile of baked fries on the side. To drink? A bottle of diet coke from the gas station cooler...not even a straw offered, nor a glass to pour it in.

I was in heaven. My first real hick experience, and I loved every minute of it.

Quitting

Every now and then I get into a funk with my job and feel very guilty about working vs being at home with the kids. Being a teacher is one of the most amazing jobs one can do, but it is also a very stressful, busy, lonely, and high pressure job too. Top that with the idea of being exposed to millions of different germs everyday, being a mom, counsellor, nurse, hugger, disciplinarian, police officer, and stand up comic...I think it can get a bit much at times.

So this weekend leading into monday was one of those times where I just felt the pop bottle shaken a little and the pressure mounting...my cork was about to pop. And it did. I got to the point of re evaluating finances and budget and seeing if I could stay at home. (that wasn't a problem at all)

I figured it outsomewhat. I think i get overwhelmed when I start to feel like too much is piling up on my plate, like I'm starting to get behind, or out of control. Let's see...I'm in the "downwind" from the concert, the January doldrums, the darkest time of the year. I've been planning to restart choir (getting all those songs figured out), plan, learn and teach the ukulele which I've never done before, and plan, learn and teach the recorder, which I've never done before. Learning the grade 1-3 guided reading program is not so bad, but it still is another notch to pile on. I also came up with the brilliant idea that I should have the kids create a school wide talent show for March (what the fuck am I doing?????) Add to the pile the teacher evaluations which my principal has to do on me to official grant me a permanent contract statuts. Yep..I guess I've got a bit on my plate. Add to that the fact that my husband was away for 5 days last week, and 4 days this week, while I'm playing single mom with all of the above on my plate. My learning curve at work is so sharp, and I know if I just get through this year, my future years will not be as hard.

Add to this the very frustrating point of being sick with cold or flu non stop since the 3rd week of September. No joke, just the week after Christmas, has been my one week where I did not need to resort to kleenex or hacking. I'm again, caught up with a sinus cold which I wake up with a headache daily for the last 5 days. Maybe something else is wrong with me?

I'm so surprised I haven't turned to smoking or drinking. Food such as icecream has been a comfort, but I don't resort to any of that. I just bottle it up.

So I've recoveered from this mess my mind has created. DH is leaving again tomorrow, and I will manage just fine. I will do what I can, how I can. My kids and I will continue on and do just fine. As for my job, there are so many things that I could add and do to enhance the program, but I just think I need to balance things better and realize that I can't do it all in my first year.

need to re-read this and let it sit inside me for awhile...

Keep Out

pitter patter pitter patter...rummage sounds in the junk drawer.
Ethan comes up to me this morning, pen in one hand, paper in the other.
"mommy, Can you write Keep Out please"

"okay"

rummage, rummage rummage through the junk drawer.
Pitter patter pitter patter. Door Shuts.
Cameron starts crying.

It was a Keep Out sign that I wrote. Ethan found the tape and taped it to his bedrom door, and shut the door on Cam.

Sibling fights are starting. gah


In other news...lots to post about, but not in the mood to right now.

Bought more scrapbooking stuff, when I'll scrapbook, hell if I know. Sure looks purdy though.

Christmas

The Christmas slaughter has finished...slaughtering of the gifts that we so carefully wrapped, that is. No pics, we did a video with our new cam, but I don't know how the heck to work it. Anyways, here's a few pics from lately.


Well crap that. Apparantly my external drive has been packed and ready to go to Myrtle Beach. That's where we're headed tomorrow. 16 of dh's family all under one roof. Oh what fun! My escape will be shopping. God help me on the plane ride.
Post later.


Happy Christmas everyone!

Making words with children

So...I work with children. And of course they say the most remarkable things sometimes.

Assisting in a class that is having a word making "competition" with the word CHRISTMAS. What 2 letter words can you make with the letters from Christmas. Three letter? sam, tam, cam, ram, mit, sit...you get the gist. So 4 letter words come up. The words are flying here...they're really getting it! So little Josh, (did I say this was grade one?) says to me quietly while this is all going on....
**Mrs.Harris I think we could do the word SHIT, but I know it's not a nice word so we can't do that one.
**What word? (doing a big head shake, did I hear that correctly?)
**SHIT...you know the word SHIT? It's not a nice word. But those are the letters from the word christmas. (imagine this with a little lisp)
**Oh yes, Josh, I understand. you're right, it probably wouldn't be very appropriate to use that word for here.
**Yes, Mrs.harris, SHIT is not a very nice word to use in school is it.
**That's right Josh, smart thinking not to use that word....what was it again? (*snicker to myself*)

**Shit.

Good Josh....what other words can you make?

Sometimes it's really hard to keep a straight face

Christmas Concert

Went extrememly well...kids were magical, parents were thrilled , and it was thrilling to put on. I had many compliments, including "I think that may have been the best one I've seen in the last 10 years!" Wow! My review....I think the kids were off tune many times, sang wayyyy to fast at times, and were chatty in between scenes/songs.

Whatever...like a friend said back in September when I was obsessing over what to do... the parents just want to see their kid look cute on stage.

Cute they did. I'll see if I can post a photo or two soon. I'll get them off the local newspaper article when it comes out.

Thrilling though, to me. I was cool as a cucumber, except when I had to play the piano...but conducting and leading was awesome. My back to the audience, I didn't need to see them, and could make faces at the kids without parents knowing. hehhe.

Psyching myself up for Christmas

I love Christmas and all, but I've really gone downhill the last few years. I mean, I grew up and things were simple. One or two gifts were what I got for Christmas, and my stocking was filled with nuts and chocolate...no "stuffers". Now it seems like just when I think I'm done, someone else pops up that I somehow "forgot". It's insane. My newest one...do I pick something up for my cleaning ladies? They clean my toilets for fuck's sakes. Gotta get them something to make up for it.

I wish things were simpler. I mean, I don't NEED anything...and to tell you the truth, if I want something or see something I like, I pretty much go and buy it myself, because I'm not a big spender on myself. So if someone asks me what I want, when I say nothing, I really mean it. Get me a magazine, and a cup of tea...take the monsterschildren out for a few hours and let me have peace and quiet for awhile.

Stocking stuffers. What the hell/who the hell thought of this? I mean...do I really have to wrap up the toothpaste I just bought you? I'm wandering the aisles at the local store guessing at any stupid item to throw into hubby's stocking. I'm so untrained at this tradition, it kills me. I think it's a bloody waste of money, time and effort. Why do I have to specifically buy after shave for his stocking? Does he really need me to WRAP a pair of socks?


Yeah yeah....I know what you're thinking. But to tell you the truth...I'd be happy with ROCKS in my stocking. At least I could use them in for drainage in my planters in the spring.

bah.

why be merry?

you know, if it's so difficult to even send a goddamn birthday card, then don't even bother with that.

My sister sucks at being cheery. It's a big stress for her to buy or send a birthday greeting, let alone a christmas one. for as long as I can remember, my christmas mornings have been dampened by her grim depressive spirits. i don't know what the fuck her problem is, but today she calls me and is totally stressed over what to get my kids for christmas. For god sakes, they're only little guys...buy them a car or a truck and your done. Is it so much to even ask to send a birthday card?

I wonder sometimes if I moved away partly to get away from my family. I speak to my SIL on the phone to toss some ideas around about gifts for the nieces and nephews, and then it launches into a few jabs about my sister. like, it's okay for ME to complain and bitch about my sister, but when someone else does it, I feel inside very defensive about it. Don't know why. It's like I hate her for being unhappy (or what seems like it) all the time, and yet when someone else remarks about it I get all "hurt" about it.

So on to the moving away thing..... I sometimes reflect and think I moved away really to get awy from my family. I miss getting together with them once in awhile, but I don't miss the politics and the unspoken turbulence. I sometimes feel like I was adopted...I feel so different than my sister and brother...and being that way, I like to be AWAY from them so I don't feel guilty about being different.

My boys

Okay three posts in one day. I've got alot on my mind.

School is going really well.

Home is just awful right now. My DH's eldest son is on major defiancy lately and has had lots of time outs for the last 5 days. I don't know where the hell the old E has gone, but the one that has been living here for the last week really sucks. Parenting has been the toughest most challening thing for me ever to face. I used to think I was very even keeled and patient, but devil child E has certainly disproved this theory. I'm really faced with controlling my own anger and frustration on daily basis right now. Thank god DH and I "tag" team, so I can or he can have a break. I know they all go through phases, and this clearly is just one of the many I'm to face.

Daycare is going very well, and there are no issues there.

Little guy is doing fine..I bet he's observing every moment and learing about how to push my buttons in a few months...just... at...the ...right...time.

they are so fricken smart.

Snow Forts

The team building that I saw happening outside today at lunch was amazing. The behaviour kids, the "cliques" of kids that don't necessarily mix outside, were all involved in several architectural developments in the snow.

The wind has built up snow drifts off the side walks of the school. The benches are mostly totally covered, so you can walk overtop of the bench seat, and not realize that you are walking ontop of the bench. Lots of snow.

Anyways, these little beavers were working away at several snow forts. Tunnels, seats, walls, windows, igloos inside of forts, slides going down into the tunnel, into a "resting area". The comraderie, the team work and the intensity was outstanding.

They've been working on these forts since last week in -20 weather. Today was nice and mild at +1. As the bell went and they were on their way inside, they were already planning the next blueprints to add on for the next day.

How can one channel that amazing "culture" into the classroom, I wonder?

Christmas Concert Intensity Builds

So this week I'm doubling, tripling and quadrupling classes for building up groups for my concert. A death wish by Friday i'm sure. I haven't told the kids, they just show up and are like ...woah cool, I can sing with my friends! our school is run by a bell system....every 1/2 hour the bell goes, indicating a new period begins. So normally every 1/2 hour they change classes/subjects like robots.

bell rings with my grade 4 and 6 classes in music. i hear it. sing sing sing ignore. you can see the sweat pouring off of some of their foreheads. but... the ... bell MRS HARRIS THE BELL!!! Panic setting in. The bell went we have to go. sing sing sing, ignore...let panic set in more. ehhehe.

Then I tell them at the end of the song. Oh, we may be here for the next hour....I have you for as long as I like, my pretties....I say in my devillish voice. bwahahahaha.... groans and eye rolling are the usual what I expect.

Cheering and yahooing is what I get. Can we stay all afternoon some of them call out. I'm thinking partially that they like it because they don't have to do written work...but I keep em really busy and active and STANDING up (and they hate that!)

These kids LOVE music. We have been doing this concert thing since November 1st and they still love every moment of it. the acting, the dancing, the singing the performing...they LOVE it.


Should be fun. It's all student made, performance, decorations, dance moves etc. I've guided them through it, and they've had input every step of the way. So it's not a broadway musical, nor is it top notch performance that would win awards, but the joy that the peformance is bringing to the kids, and especially to me, is so worth it.

I hope the parents are as proud as I am. :)

A reason not to become a teacher

You're sick all the fucking time. I have been sick since the end of September. It's been a cold merged in with a flu, continued on with a cold then rolling over into yet another cold. I'm sick of being sick! Now I have a voice that cuts in and out so I don't know if it's laryngitis or just the icky phlegm being stuck on my vocal chords from time to time. I dunno.

I love what I do, but I'd really love to be able to bend over for once and not feel like my head will explode from pressure, or my nose will drip suddenly.

It's all in those snot posts I've been writing about. they don't know how to cough, or to use kleenex and/or wash their hands frequently. To top it off it's so damn cold out that we can't open the windows to freshen the stale germy air.

I hate being sick.

I did it!

Go me!!! I figured out how to post links to others' blogs! Yay! Scary to think that I took computer programming in highschool and first year university. My times have changed. I feel like a complete moron looking at the codes now! Part of me wants to surrender to the techno change and just plead helpless, but the other part of me wants to still be in the game.

Well, at least I figured this part out. :)

It's over

It's over. I'm going cold turkey. My toffee addiction must come to an end. Will stop today.

Watch for signs of bitchiness.

My boys - testing a few features here...bear with me

My boys.....I still am in awe that I created these monsters beings from one little cell in my body.

Go me!

ColdFucking Cold

Today was very cold. For some reason, as a teacher, I have to supervise three days a week on my lunch hours outside for 1/2 hour. Not bad to get some fresh air I guess (more on my gripes later) Today was fucking cold. I was already cold inside, and therefore when I put my big unfashionable mountain gear parka on, it did not keep me warm at all. I needed a balaklava, however the fuck that's spelled. My face was frozen, I wore a hat. But my cheekbones and my lips honestly were so cold that they stiffened up.

Wahhhh.. whiny bitch I am.

And onto bitching. I have NO breaks at school right now and I'm getting resentful about it. It'll calm down after the concert at Christmas, but I'm festering already. Both recesses are taken up by "auditions" for the play...leading into next weeks practices for the play. My lunch hours 3 days a week are outside supervising. The other 2 lunch hours are leading my choir kids in their practices/rehearsals. I basically wolf down 1/2 my sandwich...or eat my cereal cube by cube WITHOUT the milk because I'm in a hurry. The rest of my days are spent chowing down on caramels for caloric intake only.

Food

My newest favourite? Toffee and caramels. The chewier the better....limbers my jaw up, and a nightmare for my teeth. Luckly, I've only got one possible filling that could come out. heee hee My pockets always have a few in them. Not good for me. at. all. My pack has almost emptied, this included tootsie rolls of all kinds which were just the left over halloween candy...bute toffees were so amazing...my favourite being the rum flavourited ones. Must. ween. slowly.

Also my favourite and newest daily after school snack....smoke oysters and smoked mussels. A whole tin, in one sitting. Not that huge, but well, it's so yummy, how can you leave 1/2 a tin behind? Ah such a pleasant breath which I'm sure DH appreciates when he kisses me hello.

Jeez

For crying out load I just want to figure out a few things here and my brain is so technically inept , I can't.

I want to be able to show a "cross out" feature, as if I'm crossing out a word. Not too important.

Also want to link to others' blogs...you think I could manage that?
nope.

doesn't help that I have whiny-touch-everything-I-can-to-piss-mommy-off hanging off the desk here.


will make my blog nicer someday. *sigh*

Uh yes...another SNOT post

Dear student,

If you have a cold, you need to blow your nose. No, you don't just squeeze your nostrils as if you were wringing the juice out of a lemon. You need to BLOW. Yes BLOW. OUTWARDS. That would prevent your 3 inch long snot slime from appearing before US in the middle of our guided reading lesson. No it is not polite to cover, scratch that, WIPE your nose with your polar fleece sweater arm while I offer you a kleenex.

Now onto blowing. Blowing frees the sinuses of extra mucus.... you know, the stuff that you keep snorting back and swallowing? This does, indeed, offer me an excuse not to be hungry, but I really don't care to visualize the amount of mucus in your sinuses.

I love you lots, and love to read with you, but please....do something about the slime.

Mrs. H.

p.s. DO NOT TOUCH MY PENCILS!

PMS

All my life, since the beginning of my periods I have never experienced PMS...nor have I experienced cramps, etc. Maybe the odd headache and cravings for food during my period, but not mood swings, depression, anger etc.

After my 2nd child, I feel like that has changed. How can that change? I don't know if it's PMS< but it occurs about a week before...I've been tracking for a few months now, because I find myself in a rage at times, and I look down at my little pill package and lo and behold it's about a week before the bitch sets in.

I find myself getting very upset at things that dh does, and my anger threshold is very little. I really have to control myself in front of the kids, especially ethan, as anything he does can trigger me to yell.

Could this be pms,or is this just the stresses of life taking over me? How do I get rid of it? I do not like the person I morph into around that time. Need to give warnings to dh about this next time.

Ugly Betty

Last night's episode, again...totally relate to. She had to review a posh upscale hotel in New York. There she is trying to use outlandish language to describe her adventure, and yet she personally would use "nice, fun, beautiful, good, excellent" VOB words, as I say to my kids in class... Vague, Overused and Boring. She was trying so hard to "fit in" yet it just wasn't her thing.

Her clutzy antic this episode made me rewind 4 times to watch it over. She backs up to sit into a "chair" and the chair tips over and she gets trapped in it.


In other news, my Remembrance Day Assembly went off very well....lots of misty eyes in the audience... ah...that's the sign I did a job well done. Only thing I didn't like, is that I was so involved in the process that I couldn't relax to take time and "remember" like I should have.


5 day weekend. Report cards on the horizon...will tackle them on Monday. Haircut this weekend, and we're going to "rocket run" as Ethan calls it, to go sledding. It's a 5 minute jaunt across our neighbourhood...a little bunny hill perfect for kids sledding...and not a huge workout to climb up either. :)

Ice is slippery. Get it?

Jesus fucking christ.....one thing I've learned in the last 3 weeks of snow/ice is that some people who drive here think they're invincible on icy roads. Especially the ones with pickup trucks. The road sign says MAXIMUM speed 100 km/hr you jerk.... so if conditions are slick, then slow the fuck down. There has not been a day that I haven't driven past a car/truck in the ditch on my way to work. Okay....you know when the road has snow on it, and there are shiny, bumpy reflective mirror like patches on the road at -15 celcius? Um yeah! That would be ice you gimrod.

Since getting my new vehicle, I feel much more confident on the road but that doesn't mean that I'm invincible! I''d really like to travel at my 100km/hr speed limit again soon....but I'm not an idiot, and won't put my self in danger. I'd rather take an extra 3 minutes to get to work thank you very much.

Pass me if you think that 85 is too slow when there is no pavement showing on the road. I'm sticking to slow. I can't fucking see where the middle line is, nor where the grey cement is...nor where the road becomes ditch.

Slow and steady wins the race.

clothes

i've lost a lot of weight. I'm complaining about it though, because i hate to shop for myself for clothes. What's frustrating, is that this is my 3rd round of buying clothes for myself because my pants are literally sagging everywhere. yeah yeah, complain away...you say. I should be rejoicing, but it's a pain in the ass when you finally found nice fiting pants and they're all too big. I bought a belt and hopefully I can extend their use. Stacy and Clinton from WNTWear say to have things altered by a tailor... I may just explore that for the pants I have. I have some awesome Levi's that I'd love to get altered.
Must beware of the halloween candy that i've been devouring this week...my ass may just fit the pants if i keep going like this.

finally, I've found a store where I don't fret about the prices, and they even have tall pants there. oh...and big deal for me! I fit their regular sizes! I fit the13 pants, and the xl tops. Go me! That's down a couple sizes from last year for sure. Anyone who's shopped the plus size departments know what a milestone this is.

Need new bras too.. my girls have shrunk. Yay for that... but boo for bra shopping. can that get any worse that swimsuit shopping?

car

bought a new one. we were considering a used one, and then decided to get the new one, because of the financing deal (1.2% over 4 years...a steal if you ask me on financing) anyways.. we got a pathfinder. it's a big mofo truck. I like it.

been a few hairy days of driving here.. the minivan is okay...and would actually be fine with snow tires probably. But where I work, I take a big highway out there...it's 4 lanes 1/2 way there...and then goes down to 2. Well for somereason, as soon as we get to the 2 lane hwy, it's like the roads clam up and all the road work/sanding/salting ends there. The rural road i need to take is only 2.5 km from the main hwy. unplowed, un salted. unsanded. a sheet of ice. Not that a pathfinder will save me, but I'm sure with the 4x4 mode, it will be a definate help in the crazier days.

always wanted a 4x4 anyways. most likely will handover the keys to the minivan in a few months anyways...the lease is almost up.

crap computer

crapped out on us over the last week and a bit. and of course, being a busy place, we didn't get around to figuring it out until just this weekend (ish).

Up and running again... all my bookmarks gone, sigh, and all my addictive username and password places are gone and forgotten. for now.