Dayhome bag

Bitch has been downgraded to bag, simply because I'm nice. I have no backbone you see. She called tonight. She wanted to see how the boys are doing. Nice huh?

Me: oh they've adjusted nicely...Ethan's adjusted really well, Cam's happy as a clam, their "teachers" are working very well with them. Ethan seems to keep very busy with all the activitiees and kids there.




Me (what I REALLY wanted to say):


They're doing fabulous. The teachers say hello to us as we enter the building. Teacher H hugs, kisses and tickles Cameron to bits as soon as she sees him in the morning. Teacher K gives Ethan a huge hug and holds his hand as she walks him into the playroom to introduce him to his playmates every morning. We say see you later alligator, and Ethan says in awhile crocodile with a big grin on his face.
I get no phone calls during the day from them, becaus they keep my kids busy, loved and nurtured. Oh and CLEAN. They brush teeth after lunch, they comb their hair before I come to pick them up, and they have the same clothes on as they did when I dropped them off! I get reports of the times of Cameron's bum changes, as well as what he ate, how much he ate and his activities during the day.

Cameron even made a halloween craft today!

bah.

Kick my ass

the flu did that is. Holy crap, I haven't felt that way in a few years. Ever think of how melted cheese just forms to that piece of broccoli so lovingly? That's how my body felt....the more it could sink into the couch the better. I had to "rest" on the couch, seriously, after walking to the kitchen for a glass of water.

My system was, for every toilet bowl that was filled, I needed to drink that in water/juice/gatorade. Hella lot.

So on it went to E, and now onto DH... DH is not taking to it to well. duh. I think he thought I was faking a bit. bwahahahaha...

on to better things now. Halloween. Need a costume for work. Don't have one...have no idea what to be. crap.

A whole herd

Wow, i'm so fascinated. A herd of about 17 elephants went to Petes Pond... Big giant ones, middle sized, babies...and a new baby, for sure. So new, he was still figuring out how to walk, how to use his trunk in the water (didn't...he dippped his mouth into the water instead) He fell a few times and got stuck, and mom came by to help him out. Used the trunk to give him a nudge...and a couple more tries and up he got. SO Cute... I love watching the "family" dynamics that they seem to have. Mother's nurturing transcends throughout the species.

Kicking my ass

The cold I have, that is.... haven't had one like this for a good 2-3 years. It's knocked me off of my feet...and out of the classroom. Feeling very guilty to be at home, but i feel shitty, therefore, I am at home. Missing my wee ones...missing singing, but I have no voice right now, so they'd laugh at me anyways.

Voyeurism

That I havebecome. I found a great live webcam...two actually (Africam and Pete's Pond) I have them on in other windows... always checking in to see what I can see.

So far, seen monkeys...a barrel of them!
A group of giraffes hanging out at the watering hole....pool little guys have to spread their legs to get a drink of water. Totally forgot about that! They have birds hanging out on their necks too, picking at their bugs.
Hyena
Owl
Gazelles
Crocodiles

Hoping to see Elephants soon. Lots ofo people have seen them and have "snapped" photos from the webcam, so they do come.

I don't know why I'm so interested in them right now. but i am. It's totally unedited stuff...peeing, sniffing each other, making skittish movements ... very cool.

It's like you're there, but you're not....

Xylophone Crime - how long in the slammer?

I teach xylophones. Technical term for the teaching is called ORFF style. I'm getting ready to make it into an acronym for something sadistic.

I want to wrap the goddamn mallets around a certain sonab---- who is a psychopath in the making. Yep, I can understand the other kid, who's dad was murdered last year...but this little shit needs the mallets twisted and wrapped around his neck. No, make it, SHOVED DOWN HIS THROAT SO HE CANNOT TALK BACK ANYMORE.

The other darlings are amazing. Lovem to bits. SOOO glad I decided to get back into music teaching.

Ugly Betty

Still identifying with her awkwardness, her dorkniness, and her amusing naivity. She makes me giggle. Gosh, she's a great actress.

Kids are still having success at their new daycare. They come home clean, happy, and things feel good. Still a little on the cautious side, as it's only been a week,but it definately feels better.

I'm turning into my mother (except on EBAY!)

I'm turning into my mother (except on EBAY!)

I never thought I'd say it.... I am enjoying looking at old vintage/antique/european china patterns at the moment. I'd love to find some kind of cool looking dinner set....or just cups and a breakfast plate set. I'm loving the mismatched-ness, the aged look.

This was something my mother loved to do...I always thought it was quite boring...and now, I'm fascinated to find the perfect little set ...or two..or three.

Almost bid on one set, which I should've...would have been about 100 dollars for a lunch set plus tea cups and tea pot...an old german blue * white set.... yep. hey mom, did you send these thoughts into my head or what?

daycare

new daycare for the kids today. they loved it (yes, first day excitement, I'm sure) but the positive spin....they came home clean today. For some reason, at j's house they would end up in their 2nd "spare" clothes, and THOSE would be filthy too. Not filthy as in dirt filthy..welll, sometimes that was the case, but moreso like food, drink, god knows what else...all over them.

makes me wonder how much or how little supervision and care really went on there.

anyways, the good news is that they loved it there, and I stuck em in cold turkey.

hopefully it will continue

My favourite month of the year

I love October.... always have...always will. Something about that little chill in the wind... wearing sweaters and light jackets, the dancing leaves, and the colours... oh the colours!

Where I used to live, October was okay..it was still my favourite month because of all the things that happen to the season. But because there were mostly evergreens everywhere, there wasn't a huge statement that autumn was here.

Where I am now? OMG...it's just spectacular. No we don't have mountains, but the plethora of colour that is out there is breathtaking. It make me love October even more now. The leaves are dancing EVERYWHERE here...tons of deciduous trees here, and the reds and oranges are magnificent.

I love the definition in the seasons here. There is a distinct winter (bah I'll gripe about it soon I'm sure!) spring, summer and fall.

Change

trying to sort out why I sometimes feel totally caught up in the eye of the storm...just riding the wind and hoping it will toss me somewhere soft and silent.

so I made a list of some of my change and stress in the last 2 years of my life.

-mom dies
-new dog
-pregnancy
-diagnosed as diabetic, and not just with pregnancy
-husband on strike for eons with company
-have baby #2 , luckily husband takes a week off to help out
-husband continues to work 12-14 hour days at the strike
-new job offer floating in the air for husband
-baby #1 and Baby #2, staying at home with me. I'm on mat leave.
-move may entail relocation...no date set.
-strike ends. i have a husband back, sort of. Happy about it, but now MY schedule that has been set over the strike, must be remolded now that hubby is a fixture in my life again.
-new job offer, date set...for 2 months from now
-new job, new house, new city, new climate...nobody I know
-list house on market by myself while husband begins new job.
-kids get major flu on first day of open house
-sell house, with conditions to fill, by myself.
-pack, organize move to new location by myself (with help of the movers, of course)
-husband looks for new home in new city by himself
-sell and buy a new home within a 2 week period
-move to new location in the coldest weather i've ever experienced.
-add more stress to my life - become an avon rep
-coast for awhile
-officially quit my former job of 10 years, losing my seniority and job status
-start a new teaching job 6 months later, put my kids in a dayhome I don't know anything about
-kids "fail" in this dayhome
-find new daycare for kids.



yep...it's grounds for a nervous breakdown.

How can I tell if I'm having one? I really want to know. Oprah had on her show, suicidal attempts. I'm not there, nor am I NEAR there, but I certainly understand the desire to make things nice and dark and quiet and calm.

Received a card from my best friend yesterday, which stemmed this set of thoughts. The card said, "You have had and made so many big changes in your life in the last 2 years, you are an inspiration." Made me think about this alot....I don't know if I'm an inspiration, but more of a nutcase for doing so many things. I love hectic stuff, but I think my body and spirit are on a major rebellion right now. Talk about making your bed and laying in it.
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Daycare Bitch

So, i'l vent about my daycare drama here. I've decided 100% I'm changing my daycare provider. J appeared to be the perfect dayhome provider when I interviewed her...or rather she interviewed me (1st signal I should have read) Her monotone expression and way of speaking should have been another signal, but I excused it as being a serious person, or having an off day...or just not interacting well with other adults.

I keep wondering...my son has ups and downs at her place..and it starts with him not wanting me to go. Ethan, on occasion, has a meltdown when I leave. I understand about separation anxiety, but I'm wondering if some of it has to do with her. She never greets, smiles and welcomes the boys in the morning. she opens the door and goes back into her kitchen to finish making her own kids' lunches. Ethan and Cameron (and me) are left at the entry hall with no hello or welcome message, no welcome feeling. This is the feeling that I am perceiving. Being an educator, I know first hand how soooo important it is to make a connection with the kids right away, first thing in the morning. The lack of a smile, or warmth can really make or break a child's day. It really can. Who knows what kind of morning they had...did they have a tough one, a rough sleep, worried about things at home? And that "good morning _____ I'm so glad to see you today, how are you...we're going to have a great day today, i have lots of exciting things planned!" that kind of thing, is a big hit with kids.

When my kids aren't even really acknowledged at the front door...it really hurts me, and it makes me feel so guilty about leaving them there. How much attention is paid to them during the day, if they don't even get a morning smile and greet? I don't expect a song and dance, butI sure expect common courtesy.

I wonder if putting my lil guys into a commercial type daycare may work out better as there's tons of activities ready for them to start at the beginning of the day..soemthing to distract the "mommy's leaving" thing. I don't know. I originally thought a home care would be better, as they'd be nurtured more... I'm not so sure anymore.

Majore mommy guilt in me leaving them in someone else's care. Major. Especially when care is not working out. And major guilt because I don't have to work financially...but I want to. I need it for my own sanity. I'm a mess of a stay at home mom. Totally miserable and feel unfufilled (aren't moms supposed to love being a mom full time?)

Life was so much easier years past. Sometimes I wish I could go there again.

Strawberry Milk

Addicted...cannot get enough of.

Pass over the chocolate milk (imagine the drama of that?) and gimme some strawberry milk. I have a mini jug of it right here. YUM> it's almost gone. I go for days without drinking milk, except in my coffee, and all of a sudden, I have a desperate urge for strawberry milk, and make a special trip to the store just for it.

Those special trips used to be to Dairy Queen or McD's for milkshakes or icecream. At least my new kick has a fraction of the calories. Go me!

Thinking of getting the "quick" stuff to add to the milk...will it taste the same as the ready made? I dunno. I'll post about that.

It's also made me think of Ovaltine. Remember Ovaltine? I think I'm getting into hibernation mode.