decision making

For once I'd like to be able to be a selfish decision maker. So now as I write that, does that mean I believe that people who can easily make decisions are selfish? Nope. I don't believe that at all...in fact, I admire that so much in people. I just believe that if I make a decision that would benefit myself and my enjoyment, it is selfish. I don't know why. I think as I get older, I analyze my childhood as being the root of my problems. And I hate to blame childhood of that. I will blame it, but I won't let that be my excuse.

So I ask for advice and opinioins many times in the last while, for fear of making the wrong choice. And if I make a mistake so what, right?

I need to get my head back on my shoulders and for once not care about what others think. I'm pretty sure I got that from my mom. As a teen I always got lectured, what would the neighbours think... and now it's haunting me.

I need to indulge in life a bit more.

Trash TV

I watch the shopping channel. And I quite like it. I am selective about what I watch, but if there's some cool gadget or makeup line on, I'll watch it. It is brainless background music for me while I try and make my day productive. Things I've bought... PurMinerals makeup (awesome) Aloette SkinCare (awesome), Scrapbooking kit (great), OxyClean when it first came out (awesome), garden seeds (okay), Spin and Store containers (awesome)...hmm..oh yeah, EvertFresh Green bags (look awesome, not yet received)

Almost bought a purse on there too..sad that I didn't go through and buy it, but I couldn't justify spending 90 dollars on a leather bag...drool...beautiful bag. I can easily be convinced. Some people buy on ebay...I prefer to go with TSC. Shipping is honest, CanadaPost rates, and if I don't like it, they have a 30 day money back guarantee, no questions asked. Sounds good to me

Shopping is the pits these days for me...two kids (male) and a husband makes for no shopping therapy for me. And I'm at an all time low size in the last 10 years, and I cannot get out there and try on clothes! VERY frustrating. I'm going to escape this weekend by myself...I'm already guilt laden about it. My husband never brings any guilt upon me...it's all self generated. I'm a freak.

Ever wonder

I have these amazing intellectual arguments and discussions planned out in my head. But rarely do they come out. I'm not sure why. Maybe this online thing will help me to figure it out.